Religious Trauma

As a therapist working primarily with Utah residents, religious-based challenges are common in my practice. This is to be expected as a large percentage of the Utah population is involved in, or at least familiar with, the teachings and practices of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It’s true that, for many, the LDS church and it’s teachings represent purpose, hope, and community. It is also true that many find the teachings and practices to be a source of pressure, fear, discrimination, and anxiety. The purpose of this article is not to sway anyone towards or away from the LDS church. It is also not to pick apart policies, doctrines, and traditions. Rather, the intention is to shed light on what religious trauma is, some factors that can lead to religious trauma, and how to address healing. Let’s talk about it.

What is religious trauma?

Just like trauma in general is difficult to articulate in simple, concise language, religious trauma is typically complex as well. The term “religious trauma” generally refers to a negative impact on a person’s mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing because of harmful experiences in a religious setting or with religious correlations. Often this type of trauma is minimized or overlooked until someone begins to question or reassess their religious beliefs. Because it is likely their beliefs have been a fundamental part of who they are, a person can experience profound distress and internal conflict when they find themselves in this place of questioning. This process has been described as a faith crisis, religious deconstruction, spiritual awakening, shelf breaking, dark night of the soul, deconversion, and religious disaffiliation.

Factors that can lead to religious trauma

Guilt and shame

Often religious organizations have strict expectations, and going against those guidelines can lead to overwhelming guilt and shame. For the LDS church, there are rigid rules around what a person eats, drinks, and wears, what is acceptable in terms of romantic relationships and sexual exploration, how they spend their time on Sundays, what is appropriate behavior based on gender, how a family is supposed to operate, and where information is gathered regarding church history and leadership. Going against what is expected in these categories, and more, can lead a person to feel deep guilt and shame. These difficult emotions can be exacerbated when religious leaders implement guilt- and shame-inducing behaviors, which, unfortunately, is not uncommon. Examples of this in LDS culture might be having to refrain from taking the sacrament, having a temple recommend denied or revoked, or being removed from an activity after being told your outfit is inappropriate. The expectation to confess sins to an ecclesiastical leader, especially on matters intimate in nature, can also provoke feelings of guilt and shame as an individual’s spiritual worthiness is brought into question.

Fear-based teaching

Eternal punishment, an impending apocalypse, spiritual damnation, and divine punishment are all examples that contribute to fear-based teaching. Another element of fear-based teaching is the strong emphasis on striving for perfection. The concept of eternal consequences is particularly potent in the LDS church because of the implications regarding the final judgment and Plan of Salvation. LDS teachings suggest that members must be pure, clean, and spotless in order to be in God’s presence. Their doctrine also explains that eternal life with family members and full exaltation is possible only if you live according to LDS standards and have completed certain LDS ceremonies. Further still, it is possible for a person to have their membership, and all associated blessings, revoked if local leaders deem that member to be living or behaving outside the expected standards of conduct. While this is not super common, excommunication is a legitimate possibility and does fuel the fear-based approach. Choosing to separate from the LDS church has, sadly, also led to extreme family strain and altered personal relationships. All of these points can lead to incredible anxiety, overwhelm, self-consciousness, fear, and hopelessness.

Repression of critical thinking

When religious leaders discourage discussion, questioning, or critiques of their methods and teachings, it is a sign that critical thinking is unwelcome. The expectation, instead, is that members hear, love, and obey those in authority without question. Faith, hope, optimism, and patience are all admirable qualities. It is important to also acknowledge that those qualities do not exist independent of thoughtfulness, curiosity, and a desire to prioritize intellectual integrity. At a basic level, this expectation to dutifully absorb teachings from scriptures and ecclesiastical leaders reduces an individuals ability for introspection and forfeits their need to be familiar with their own personal values and perspectives. It has a tendency, for many, to disconnect them from their own intuition and desire. It can also limit their ability for genuine compassion and empathy. On an extreme end, avoidance of critical thinking is part of what paves the way for physical, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse. If people are encouraged to trust their leaders and told that those leaders know what is best, then it is understandable why believing members may be especially vulnerable to exploitation. Denying a congregation the opportunity to think critically and welcome various perspectives is a blatant demonstration of an abuse of power.

How can I heal?

Allow time to grieve

Whether a person chooses to continue practicing within their religion the same way, develop more nuance, or separate themselves completely, healing from religious trauma is not linear. A wide range of emotions are likely to surface including sadness, confusion, anger, loss, resentment, and betrayal. There is no “best” way process emotions, but an important first step is to acknowledge what the feeling is and then allow yourself to fully experience it. Let yourself cry, scream, remove triggering items, or change habits that no longer feel beneficial to your overall wellbeing. Feelings are meant to be felt and experienced, not buried and ignored.

Expand your understanding of spirituality

It is common for people working through religious trauma to develop a new understanding around spirituality as a whole. It is important to note that religion and spirituality are not the same. Some choose to explore different religions, and others choose to abandon organized religion altogether. There is not a “better” or “right” way to navigate a spiritual journey. It can be helpful to explore your own spirituality by reflecting on where and how you find peace, purpose, and joy. Some common spiritual practices include being in nature, journaling, listening to music, providing service or volunteering, practicing meditation, and engaging in joyful movement like yoga or dance.

Build a support network

It can be difficult to find safe others who will be accepting of religious doubts or concerns, especially when looking within a religious community. If attempts to connect authentically with family members or other loved ones have gone poorly, consider broadening your community. It is very important and healing to create a sense of community where safety, authenticity, acceptance, and love can exist. Online forums, support groups, and meetups for former LDS members can provide a sense of solidarity and understanding that is often lacking when speaking with those who remain in the church. Talking with others who can relate to and understand where you’re at on your spiritual journey can lead to immense hope, validation, and self-assurance.

Seek therapeutic support

Working with a trauma therapist can be an important, meaningful experience for those recognizing and processing religious trauma. Many find that having a safe space to express themselves that is void of judgment or religious expectation can be freeing in itself. Even more than that benefit, the research-based methods trauma therapists implement to thoroughly address and heal trauma are incredibly useful. Many find therapy to be extremely effective in rejecting the shame they had been carrying and cultivating greater self-trust. Many end up not only rediscovering who they are but fully celebrating their true selves and embracing the reality that they were enough all along.

Religious trauma regarding high-demand religion can be a deeply painful, earth-shattering experience. It can leave wounds that extend from yourself to your family relationships to your friendships to your career and beyond. The devastation is real. The loneliness and confusion are real. The correlated relationship strain is real. Change is hard.

And.

The potential for healing is also real. The potential to regularly experience genuine inner peace is real. Many have navigated the process of healing religious trauma, many are in the beginning phases just like you, and many have yet to follow in this direction. You don’t have to carry the weight of this alone. Profound self-discovery is a legitimate byproduct of healing your trauma so you can build a life and belief system you love.